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Is this a good introduction to the scene of a short story?
I'm having to write a short story in my Honors English 10 with a focus on scene details. How does this sound?
"The black night was cool, almost chilly. The air filled with the scent of dew covered grass. the moon illuminated the sky, which was now a rare full moon. The stars of the night seemlously hiding behind the reflection of the moon off the calm service of the river. The gentle but persistant wind working the abundance of trees into a rustle almost as if lightly tickling them."
Any suggestions are welcome. Critique is welcome and greatly apreaciated.
I don't know what seemlously is. And as for the full moon, they aren't rare - what about this one was rare? The color? The clarity? And I agree with the second sentence. It needs to have a was in it. The air was filled ... And I would say ... The gentle but persistent wind was working ... Otherwise you do a very good job of setting a mood. I don't know about the search. Maybe adjust it a bit so it doesn't pop up. Good luck with it. Pax - C
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